Anyone for Tea?

And so begins another piece of work for DUM. Have you any idea how long these blogs take to research? The blood, sweat and beers that are lovingly captured for your benefit?

August, and England gets dark, grey, colder and, yes let's get it out of the way now, the bloody merry Xmas serpent is rearing its ugly commercial head again - jingle bells is heard in Boots and turkey / stuffing sandwiches appear in Gregg's.
Anyway, bugger all that, much as I love you all, I'm off while I still can. Its November before I actually get away as I have to spend 3 weeks crewing boats in Channel Islands and Sardinia, and its Vinny and Beck's wedding! This allied to the Asian monsoon cycle timings in my target destinations - Sri Lanka and India.
So the only booked stuff is a plane ticket to Sri Lanka, on to Bangkok in March and return legs in July, the rest of it is all mine to play with (I mean work within).

To Sri Lanka: in summary, it is all it says on the tin for the enquiring tourist - ancient cities, temples, the "hill country" of British colonial settlements, miles of tea plantations hiking and views, beaches and tropical sun. The weather is still changeable as the end of the SW monsoon is about a month late (here too, eh?).
So that's the advert over, now for what I found and think:

• Forget Colombo, a commercial, polluted, traffic nightmare
• Beaches: For those who just want an "all-includio" hotel complex holiday then Beruwela / Bentota but NOT Negombo - it only exists as a resort for those who won't do an airport transfer of longer than 20 minutes, the beach is crap. All the good beaches are at least 2 hours away heading south, and then keep going for the really good less developed resorts and beaches to near Galle and beyond, but beware the tides and currents - its not Thailand
• Cities: some great ancient cities founded 3BC (what were we doing then, apart from going "ugh" and applying a nice shade of wode?) around either kingdoms or religion or both. Mainly buddhist (one of earliest buddhist countries, visited by Buddha himself. In fact there's an authenticated 2,000 year old Bhodi tree which came from Buddha's family home, guarded 24/7 for all this time. Are the people worshipping the tree or its symbolism now - difficult to tell, cynic that I am, bits of leaf / twig are handed out to the devout and carried off in great awe. Then the colonial cities of Colombo and Galle, Galle is fascinating mix of Portuguese, Dutch and British. Kandy was still an independent hill country kingdom (too bloody difficult to get an army up there!) until the Brits conquered it in 1815, so is a real mix.
• Hill country is totally different - cool climate for the summers, hence the Brits built an amazing railway up there and started up tea growing (and imported '000s of Tamils from India to pick it, another great legacy of ethnic "management" from us). Great hiking and views though.
• Food and drink: Hot and spicy but with surprisingly mild coconut milk based curries. Great seafood on coasts. The standard offering is "Rice and Curry" on the menu or signboard but talk about underselling! It is served in about 6 dishes so you can mix and match spicy with coconut, vegetables with meat / fish, add to the rice and use your RIGHT hand to knead that bit together, make a small bucket with your 3 forefingers, put to your lips and shovel it in by scraping your thumb along your fingers from the palm out to your mouth - NO licking fingers, go wash your hands either during or at end of meal. Or ask for a spoon. Local spirits are homemade spirit versions (which taste nothing like, but the Lemon Gin is not bad); Arrak - coconut palm spirit, rum-like, which is the usual locals' choice - very cheap and of course lethal; Toddy - tapped from palm trees and so new still fermenting in the bottle; local beers (mainly Lion) are ok lagers, Three Coins is a malty pilsner which is the best if you can find it.

Some thoughts:

• The whole of SL is just praying that the final end of the civil war after 30 years will hold and the tourists will start to come back, as a local said to me "it will only take 1 suicide bomber at the airport or at a resort and SL will be dead in the water for years to come". It was a bit weird with all the armed forces checkpoints and bunkered guardposts along the roads and main buildings, and then in the north going into what was contested territory until only a month ago. Didn't go right up north though, although possible now, aiming to get further up there when I come back for a couple of weeks in February (also when their monsoon lets up).
• The roads, or more particularly the drivers, (the roads are bad enough). Size matters, if you have the biggest truck or bus and /or the loudest horn, then all other rules don't apply. Driving on the left is optional particularly if you are a tuk tuk or motorbike. Cyclists are completely immune to all rules, and appear to have a force shield to avoid contacts. All this at top speed with horns blaring - even if its just to wave at your mate going the other way! Bus drivers have six arms, one eye on a telescopic arm and 2 brains, which enable them to drive down mountain roads / hairpin bends, hold mobile calls, chat with their mates, see round blind bends and press the horn simultaneously.
• The people are really friendly, and the kids all shout and wave and practice their English - apparently all part of growing up to become a serious scam merchant. I've seen quite a few before now but I've learnt some new ones! "You're so lucky today is a festival at the temple, come see..."; "How much are these English coins worth?"; "No money please, this is my job...(until the end)"; "I've been working as a dried fish turner-overer for 20 years, let me show you....". The last guy was even on Rick Stein's Asian Odyssey apparently, still has the BBC badge (dried fish turner-overer, yeh right).
• Pubs / bars: weird away from the resort beach bars, which themselves are only where independent travellers go, as the package hotels trap their people by the pool - Bentota has none, you have to use your hotel; and there are strict licensing laws. But the bars in the towns are amazing! "Attached to a hotel for local people only" (separate alleyway entrance). Men only. Purposely darkened, blinds / one-way glass to the outside / low lighting (if any), cement floors and walls, caged cashier / bar, pay before you get a drink (take a chitty to the bar cage from the cashier cage in some cases), and sit on plastic beach chairs and plank-top tables - with the rest of the top-class clientele of course (the Baker's has nothing on this I promise you). But all passed off peacefully so far, if a little strained at times
• Official photographer to the launch of a fishing boat was an interesting morning in Tangalle, all had to be done strictly in time with the given propitious horoscope moment (11.12am apparently, all done by my watch anyway, which I know is a minute fast but they all assumed mine was right, so if you hear of a fishing boat mysteriously disappearing on its maiden voyage...). Joined in the milk rice, sambol (hot and spicy coconut, onion, lime, chillies chutney) and bananas celebration (Muslims, just my luck!) and back slapping all round, so it was great fun. Thank whichever God or Prophet, the prints came out ok, so sent them to the owner a few days later.
• And then I wind up making my way back up the west coast to Negombo to find that Xmas is alive and well and living Roman Catholic missionary style here (shrines ans churches, convent schools everywhere)! Which is fine for the devotees but the retailers are catching on fast - Xmas trees, lights, tinsel, blow-up santas, shopping specials and sales. Luckily only there 2 days then off to India.

Bye!

Photos are at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Sri_Lanka_1_2009

Now where WAs I??

A ridiculously late blog post to complete the Aus jigsaw, apologies. This is being done as I wait for my friends to give me a lift to Heathrow for the next research trip!

Anyway, Western Australia (WA) was immense, dry (until the winter storms hit) and yet again subtly different from the other states. Vast driving distances through flat desert plains to reach towns who really shouldn't exist but for mining (largest diamond mine in the world Kimberley diamond anyone?) and pearls. But worth all the effort.

• The Kimberley mountain ranges, coastline and rock formations
• Shark Bay world heritage site (the oldest living organisms on the planet, stromatolytes, which convert nitrogen into hydrogen and oxygen and were instrumental in creating the atmosphere we breathe today!)and the Ningaloo reef, the only reef on the western side of a continent - dived with manta rays, dolphins, dugongs and nurse sharks cruising past! Dugongs, sea cow type things and supposedly the origin of the mermaid myths - how pissed were those old sailors??
• The Bungle Bungles sandstone rock formations, only publicly discovered by white folks in 1982 when a film crew asked locals for somewhere interesting to film! Now world heritage site but with private aboriginal areas as they are still believed to practice sacred burial rites inc. termite burials of elders - period of mourning lasts until the termites have completely covered the corpse
• Broome for the "Staircase to the Moon", the moon rising over the sandbars and shallow sea and reflecting a prism of lights onto them from the setting sun.Also for the open air Sun Pictures House, the oldest operating open cinema complete with deckchairs and old benches
• The Dampier peninsular, home to many aboriginal people but with a catholic missionary twist
• Then to the south of Perth,the giant Kauri pine forests and bleak Capes with Margaret River wine district sheltering behind them
• Fremantle, a preserved Victorian city centre of grand terraces of villas and shops and public buildings, esplanade leading to the harbours and the brewery! And a party town too

Sorry, a brief summary but too late to start waxing lyrical really, but also because as I neared Perth, so my deadline loomed and the last 2-3 weeks were a real whistle stop tour and the weather went sour with gales and storms as soon as I headed south from Shark Bay.

A few last thoughts:

• Best road signs "Local Police Are Targeting...", normally D&D, speeding, etc but these were "Fatigue"! Instant visions of sleeping policemen (real ones); quiet crimes during siesta times
• Whim Creek Hotel, re-built by Rio Tinto Mining Corp after hurricane a few years ago, and now the mining teams@ work camp but still open to public! Ate with miners in their mess rooms and a few beers too. Amazing
• Road kill (again!), emus - just the most brainless things in the world. And in Exmouth are often seen wandering down the high street - weird
• Wedding, WA-style: women in party dresses, blokes in ironed shirts with shorts and flip flops but loads of beer all round - hooray!

Handed Lindie back on time and went to local "skimpies" pub (only one near camp site, honest) - barmaids and pole dancers entertaining a load of very bored looking blokes just finished work and intent on watching the horse racing in the bookie area. One of them had bra, knickers and ugg boots on, coz she was cold!

So, would I go back? Yes but would need a team and two vans better equipped so that could do the even more remote places. Would I live there? Perhaps in Sydney or Melbourne or a diving / sailing place, the country towns are as dead as Alton but without history as we know it.

Enough! Photos are at http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/laurentmik/Aus_WA_2009

Cheers!

Back out in Out Back

A brief blog I think for a change. Left the beautiful coast and coastal ranges behind for the outback again, albeit including the outback's coast! (Gulf of Carpentaria, the big bite out of Aus at the top).

Leaving the QLD coast at Cairns, immediately climbing the coastal mountain range at Kuranda, then onto the Tablelands, a volcanic plateau between the coastal ranges and the Great Dividing Range (yet again) and over that into the outback travelling west to the Gulf and into Northern Territory for the 2nd time, this time the northern Northerrn bit up to Darwin.

Took lots of diversions and unsealed tracks on the way to see the weirder bits and the national parks, and up here the aboriginal sites. These people were / are all over Aus but seem more concentrated influence and history here.

A few more thousand kilometres and two punctures later and am in Darwin, "the top end". Via volcanoes, savannah grasslands like Africa, world heritage sites like Kakadu Park and Katherine Gorge, loads of wildlife (some very dangerous) and lost explorer camps and townships. Darwin is very small (about 4 blocks by 6) and very modern having been completely decimated in 1974 by Cyclone Tracy (were you around to smite then dear?) and now a laid back traveller hangout (lots of bars, clubs and hostels with pools!) plus state government and armed forces bases.

Next and last stage is into Western Australia, and everyone keeps telling me its going to be the best of the lot, and I have a fixed end date, bugger.

Aboriginals: what a confusing and difficult culture to understand. They believe in spirits creating and ruling the planet and that they are just guardians, no concept of land ownership, with no written languages just art and stories as teaching tools. Fair enough, but hence the clash with the capitalist, land grabbing / destroying / fencing-off Europeans.
So there now seems a complete mess between the government saying sorry and giving land rights back (but no you can't go back to hunting, gathering or nomadic lifestyles, we'll pay you to sit in "closed communities" and keep out of the way. Oh, and by the way, because you have been naughty boys we shall ban alcohol and porno material from your communities too for your own good - they actually smuggle alcohol into their own homes!).
But on the other hand many apparently wreck any homes built for them, drink the handout money and refuse to work, they just stroll around the towns, look straight through you (so the whites do the same back, who started it?) and then just sit / lie in any shaded spot. Its like they are waiting for the day when the whites will disappear again and all will be restored, maybe they're right??
What a mess. Its just like the nomadic tribes in Africa, their lifestyle doesn't fit with land ownership so they have to be fenced in / out, have no future, get paid to shut up, so they get drunk and violent, very sad. Having said that, of course some do break that stereotype and are teachers, expert guides, stockmen and artists.

On a lighter note, I'll never complain about changing tyres again at home, jacking 4wd trucks up in the outback in 30C, being eaten by ants and attacked by mossies is a painful experience!

Also, why can only under 30's get 12 month working visas? Renewable for another 12 months if they fulfil the work commitments? Us old gits can work too (well, maybe).

And it was only 150 years ago that people were still dying here trying to find a way across this island! Went to Burke and Wills' expedition's last camp site, really eery - just a few miles from reaching the north coast when they turned back and died trying to get home when missed their support team by 9 hours

Northern Territory "top end" - country locals in singlets, short shorts, big hats, big boots, big beards and mullet haircuts! But fun evenings in the pub watching the sport. Even the lady cook in the Humpty Doo Hotel smoked a pipe!

OK, time up. Photos at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_Outback_2_2009

Off into Western Aus tomorrow, see you all too soon.

Queensland - bye and thanks for all the fish

So to the renowned Queensland (QLD) state and what I hoped would be one of the highlights, the Great Barrier Reef and sunshine coasts. To summarise, I found North QLD coast amazing, central and south too commercial for me. All the inland mountain ranges are good, getting more and more tropical as I went north of course - lots of areas are World Heritage Areas or National Parks, so its all about the geography and nature and no development. In the North, the mountains meet the coast, so the two merge into gigantic national parks and marine parks - absolutely beautiful, could spend weeks exploring, sailing and diving here, and very few tourists except in Cairns (central base for it all).

First to Brisbane and a couple of nights at Simon and Dawn's (and not forgetting Charlie - great fun, you couldn't forget him anyway!) place in Manly. Great to see them again (and thanks guys for the hospitality) - Brisbane is compact, modern and pretty laid back for a state capital - even less history than the southern cities! But still has the mix of architecture.

On to the tourist "Sunshine" coast above Brisbane, pretty much developed, smart and rather unexciting to me - nice beaches with surfing, high rise apartments, adverts everywhere for retirement properties, and holiday hotels / units. Headed into the hills behind the coast, a tip from my Sydney friends, to Looking Glass and Blackall ranges and the valleys behind them - very beautiful, and rich farming country - country fairs on as another "long weekend" for Labour Day on May 1, which were interesting - real locals and their families not tourists, but rubbish bank holiday weather works here too.

Also to Australia Zoo, Steve Irwin's place - concentrated on Australian critters, quite rightly, but now extending to include a SE Asia zone, shame. The other shame was piped Aussie "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" type music in the main areas and a mini-football stadium (the Crocadium, from memory) with cheerleader commentaries for the croc feeding (cheer for what country you're from!! Louder, I can't hear you - yuk, then named crocs doing their bit to a hyped-up commentator). But the redeeming feature was the kangaroo park, like a walkthrough their pastures, all quiet and almost natural. Worth 54 Aus dollar (27GBP) entry?? mmmm.

Fraser Island, the largest sand island in the world - a 75 mile long beach serves as the main road, then tracks through the dunes into the interior rainforests and lakes, really interesting for a couple of days guided tour. 4WD would be possible on my own, but if I got stuck then completely stuck here, loads of soft sand driving - tricky. Turpentine trees from here were used to shore up the sides of the new Suez Canal, as they are resistant to saltwater and marine rot!

Up through central QLD, all coastal plains full of sugar cane and cattle. Built own cane railways for harvest time, musat be quite a sight as it goes for hundreds of miles and tracks are everywhere.


Diving: 4 trips (2 day trips to shipwrecks, and 2 live aboard trips to the outer barrier reefs inc 2 night dives, 1 complete with real shark - if you see one green eye it is swimming alongside you, if you see two it is coming towards you - stay still and either douse the torch to make it bored or keep on taking photos and let it hit the torch!). The weather sea conditions and quality improved massively as I moved north, so sorry but you have fish photos again!! The wrecks were totally opposite: HMAS Brisbane, a deliberately sunken destroyer was ruined by rough seas and very bad visibility; SS Yongala, a passenger steamship sunk in a cyclone in 1911, was fantastic - now in top 10 wrecks dives in world, but a grave site (122 people were lost and never recovered) so you can't go inside - but you can see portholes, stairways, etc (and full medecine bottles, baths and everyday stuff still in there if you did go in as some have, of course) - but it is a wonderful dive as an artificial reef anyway. Oh, and I passed my certification in enriched air mixed-gas diving!! Go further for longer, and more times is the idea but got to get the formulae right.

The Great Barrier Reef is all it is supposed to be, and doing it on liveaboard trips gets you to the real barrier (coral walls, caves, etc) reefs which day trips can't reach (also 450 people on one boat. No!!). The weather was great, the dives wonderful and some sailing too. Saw sharks, rays and a Minke whale too, and giant cod (these look docile if big, but are carnivorous, or is it fishivorous?... "if you get your hand inside its mouth, push further in so that it chokes and spews it out as it has rows of backward facing teeth that will lacerate your arm if you pull").

Whit Sunday Islands are mountain range peaks split from mainland when sea levels rose after Ice Age, close to coast and great sailing country - we had good winds but not great sun and currents, so good sailing but not great diving - just have to go back. Whitehaven beach was massive, and such pure silica that it was used to make lenses for the Hubble Telescope!

Went as far north as Cooktown on land, where Captain Cook first landed in 1770 (only because he had a hole in his boat from the reefs!). He was not a happy bunny - named places as Cape Tribulation, Weary Bay, Cape Flattery, Mount Sorrow. Good area though, would have liked to explore further north but no time now.

Some thoughts:

• Why can't bowls clubs at home be like here, and act as pubs? Walked into one, through the ranks of white-clad bowls players on the rinks to find JJ Cale playing "Cocaine" on the jukebox, bookie shop in one corner and the machines in the other and cheap beer too! Plus these are community clubs so profits go back to local projects, etc. Great idea, would bring clubs at home back into centre of social life in the right places.
• What a waste! Miles and miles of beaches that can't be used for swimming. Signs up in northern areas - not only will you get stung by life-threatening jellyfish, so small that they can get through normal nets, but if the sharks don't get you the saltwater crovcodiles will! Oh and by the way, here's a free bottle of vinegar to douse the stings with until / if you can get to medical assistance - seriously!
• What is it with obsession with giant fibre glass figures? I have given up taking photos, but in QLD they have risen above giant prawns, lobsters and bass to include: a gumboot the height of the rainfall in that town one year (Tully, 9.7 metres (about 32 feet)) - there's a staircase up it!; Captain Cook (a really awful "statue" at the start of the Captain Cook Highway in Cairns; fruit - "The Big......" mango, banana, pineapple....

OK, now heading west towards Darwin and Northern Territories national parks. Only 6 weeks or so to go! Bugger.

Photos are at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_QLD_2009

Cheers!

NSW: State and Sydney Bye with...

...chips. Dropped my camera and it bounced on the attached wide angle lens of course. 120GBP to replace, but very lucky to find one in Sydney. So, you will find either a fly or white fuzzy marks on many photos (inc some of those from last blog) until I got the replacement - bugger.

Been ages since last blog it seems as I missed the opportunity to do it in Brisbane. Managed to get the photos loaded but not do the blog. Its a hard life.

So, headed into Sydney via the Royal National Park and to friends of my dad and Val's - Phil and Liz. Not the royal family but a very kind, retired couple with a manic lifestyle of 7 children and 24 grandkids plus.... They have been, and will again be, avid travellers - they went to Uluru when it was still desert tracks with the kids in the back of a car in the 70's! They live in the outer suburbs, Revesby, a 45 minute trainride into the city, so I became a commuter again for a few days (not good memories).

Sydney is a fantastic place, waterfronts and gardens everywhere - and commuting by ferries from suburbs or down the river. Quite a sight, could spend many days there, partic if I stayed in the nightlife areas and the weather allowed more time on the beaches, but I did get to Manly and Bondi and have a very quick swim - it was more like Newquay in midwinter than some sexy Aussie mecca. Like Aussie cities, so far, a mix of modern and Victorian / Edwardian architecture and layouts and all starting as a port on the coast or a permanent freshwater source inland.

Then into the nearby Blue Mountains, spectacular scenery and hikes (if still changeable weather), then zig-zags up the coast to the Queensland border between coast and mountain / gorges / waterfalls national parks. Didn't manage to escape the autumnal weather which swept up from Antarctica for a few days, catching me in the mountains - frosts and ice on Lindie in the mornings (comments anyone?).

Exceptions were detours into central NSW, to Orange and Bathurst for a view of the central plains areas, and Tamworth and "New England's" farming and gold mining towns. Great diversion was to drive around the Bathurst motor racing circuit, Mount Panorama, which used to hold the F1 grand prix racing (bikes and cars) until the 1960's and is a hell of a climb and drop around the mountain - now does famous endurance races, etc. Weird, it is a 2-way public road (60kph/45mph limit normally with turn-offs into houses and farms!) in normal times - that's how they got the govt to help pay for it back then, as a scenic drive apparently, clever. So Lindie has done 3 laps of a racing circuit now!

Thoughts:

• Aboriginal names: is it a con? The tribes didn't speak the same languages but managed to come up with similar names for places, all with loads of "o's" and "a's" (how many "O's" can I get away with in a name joke = Wooloomooloo in Sydney), and all meaning logical things like "place of many waters" or "place where one can see for f****ing miles, mate, trust me". That was until I got to Angourie Point, a great surfie place - now either the dopy English explorer accidentally talked to a Frenchy taking the piss or the locals had got bored of the joke, but Angourie means "place of angry seas"?? No way.
• For some reason remembered it was my very old mate, Jon Pearson's birthday on St George's Day. Should have kept up with him, a great bloke and wonderful friend all those years ago, somewhere in NZ still I believe - too late now. Got that way with all the old North London crowd too, probably. Still can't change history.
• Anzac Day, remembering all Aus/NZ forces, very serious over here. Dawn services of remembrance then a wake at the pub. Special licensing, cheap offers and a gambling game as played by the veterans in the trenches, betting on 3 coins landing heads or tails - only allowed on Anzac Day in the local pub (saw this in a gold mining town called Hill End - Royal Hotel's beer garden, whole families, BBQ and friendly betting betweeen each other (no bookie or central bank here). It was a special afternoon.
• Great names for places if not Abo or copying Euro name: Buckaroo (near Mudgee) and Broke (Hunter Valley)
• Aus still very much a rural country, well into horses (breeding, racing and betting), farming and local communities for locals only. The cities are isolated hotspots almost out of character, except on the coasts where they are suffering from the same problem as UK, all the retirees going to the good places and skewing the demography, and thus the local economies.
• Lindie got a good servicing in Sydney

OK, so now in Queensland but I'll save that, except to say many thanks to Dawn and Simon (and little Charlie, aka "Bob the Builder") for their hospitality and friendship in Brisbane, before it seems too late to say it.

Photos link at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_NSW_Sydney_2009

Cheers! Mike

River Deep (-ish), Mountain High (-ish)

It was all very sudden, driving for hours through the ever flattening, burnt brown hills of South Australia, turned a corner and there was the Murray River - and beyond it mile upon mile of bright green irrigated vineyards, orchards and cattle pastures! As soon as irrigation could not reach then it was back to brown scrub or grasslands.

The Murray riverlands feed masses of Australia (wine is a food in my book). The problem is that even this 2,700 km river is suffering from lack of rain in the mountains that feed its sources, added to which is the ever increasing demand from farmers and populace alike.
It is one hot political potato over here with each state it flows through accusing the others of mismanagement and pinching too much as the massive drought continues. However it is still one big river which, with its sister river - the Darling, used to be the only trade route to the inland areas - gold, wool, meat then later fruits and wines flowing out with supplies coming upriver.
The former mining and trading cities and river ports now depend on agriculture and tourism but reveal very prosperous areas still. Those same trade routes became the hot spot for bushranger (outlaw) ambushes - Ned Kelly's gang being the most famous.

The river plain stretches for hundreds of miles until the foothills of the highest mountains in Australia begin, and natural greenery, forests and rivers (low) start - and the stories of gold boom towns, now returned to small villages or disappeared completely.

The Australian Alps and neighbouring Snowy Mountains reach 2,288 metrres at Mt. Kosciosko (sp?) and ski resorts just about survive with the tops that get above the tree line - limited areas but if that's all there is, it causes huge demand in short seasons and a few ski areas all within a day's drive from the majority of Australia's population in Melbourne, Sydney areas.

So, not dramatic like the Euro or NZ Alps but beautiful views all the same, and especially as so near to the coasts and rainforests.

The sea!! Finally made it, after weeks of deserts, plains, forests and mountains - and very beautiful it is too - reminded me of south of France in parts, then south-west England in others. Loads of beaches, harbours and space (except on the roads at Easter!) - boat, shellfish and beach fishing is huge here. Everyone brings a boat and rods with them on hols.

Ans in between all this a visit to Canberra, the purpose-built Federal capital. Laid out around a lake and hills, and still a small city - which was shut on Easter weekend, literally. Even pubs and internet cafes (all 2 of them)! Except every campground was full - WHY??? Because the bloody National Folk Music Festival was on!! Thousands of them, Morris dancers, hats, the lot!! Why me? Left to hide back in the hills then the coast again.

Thoughts for the day:

• Hair - I can still grow it, finally had a cut after 3 months - it was an impressive head of hair, an impressive mess but...and still no beard in sight
• Internet cafes are bloody rare here, and if they do exist they don't have CD drivees because they are too scared to manage the potential risks, so take them out!
• Been to Victoria's only legal brothel! It shut in 1880's. Oh well.
• Lindie has a new windscreen, but no other dramas, she's going really well - so far, apart from bits of her insides falling off. Her buttons need pressing gently these days! We've done over 7,000 miles now
• Beer! Victoria state has a complete micro-brewery industry, and a trail between them! And the beer is mostly pale ales and stouts plus Euro-style pilsner lagers, plus Chestnut Lager, real ginger ale and Blackberry Stout (ace!) - hours of fun (for educational purposes only). Add the wines, and even local port (lethal)!
• Food! The meat, fresh fish, local bakeries and fruit are ace, many more independent shops still here, not just supermarkets. Good local cheeses too - very naughty for me.
• Cold! Autumn has arrived big time in the mountains - forosts and ice on the van! Time to head for the sun and beaches methinks
• Rocks - an amazing mix of ages, volcanic and old seas, lava flows
• Gum trees - grow from almost seawater to snowline and have adapted to climate, fire resistance and soil change, very impressive
• Public holidays - Aussies have the same lemming instinct as the Brits - chaos and road kill of a very different type. Strangely, one radio news broadcast was timing the deaths, so you had to only 12 hours, etc to go if you wanted your road kill to count as a "Long Weekend" one!

So, one final push up the coast to reach Sydney, and a BED for a few nights! Cheers! Mike

Photos link at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_Rivers_Mountains_2009

Rocky, Salt and the Reds

And so Lindie and I ventured into the depths of the "Red Centre" and have emerged stunned and dusty after just over 2 weeks and over 3,000kms (1,000 on rough roads/tracks).
Stunned because it is an awesome place in terms of size, heat, colours, rocks and mountains and gorges and the people who founded and now live out here (Aborogine and white).
Deserts stretch for hundreds of miles but change colours with both the light and the different hues of the rocks from almost black to pure beach sand and salt white via brilliant reds. The sky and horizons just go on forever, broken by ranges of hills and mountains themselves split and broken by the heat, wind and freezing nights plus flash floods.
First stop was Coober Pedy, the famous underground town just existing because there is human perceived value in sparkly stones called opals - crazy, but unique and incredible. People digging around in up to 50C and living in old mine dugouts to try to keep cool, imagine the original miners, hard bastards.
Then to Alice Springs, a bit of a nonentity really being a railway, telegraph and road junction but not interesting in itself (except for an excellent western American style saloon bar called Bojangles!).
And so to the mountains and rocks and gorges:

• the MacDonnell range full of narrow gorges where flash flood creeks have eventually split through the walls of the range;
• Gosse Bluff, a little advertised crater in the middle of a flat plain caused by a huge comet 140 milliion years ago, which in turn threw up crater sides the height of the Alps and caused, they say, a global weather change;
• King's Canyon where erosion has formed incredible rock formations from what was originally layers of compressed sand dunes, this was part of the coastline of the great "inland sea";
• Uluru (and its sister hills, Kata Tjuta) - what can I say, the largest single rock in the world and still 2/3 below the desert floor yet to be exposed. It is awesome and does exude an atmosphere as it changes colours during the day and exposes clefts, dry waterfalls and holes all over its sides, plus the sacred Aboriginal sites upon and beneath it. Idiots have put graffiti on it, scrawled over the ancient paintings, and scramble to its top (from where, of course, you can't see it and there is nothing to look at except flat desert) but it is too majestic for that;
• Flinders ranges where massive tectonic and earth crust movements have caused an incredible array of different rocks to be exposed in a very small area covered in faults, folds and gorges;
• And between them all, huge salt lakes - the remains of the inland sea, one of which, Lake Eyre, I was incredibly lucky to see start to fill with freshwater all the way from Queensland for only the 3rd time in 25 years. Others never fill, and one of which cotains the last complete skeletons of the mega-animals as it was the last to lose its fresh water and the animals mummified in the mud of its shores.

And through it all the Aborigine tribes who not only survived but thrived here for 40,000 years. Then the explorers, the engineers and the farmers who followed all within the last 200 years. The largest cattle ranch in the world is here, Anna Creek, half the size of England and with only 1,700 head of cattle on it because of the ongoing drought here. There are the remains of boom towns from mining, farming and railway / telegraph stations (wherever there are water springs) - William Creek, population of 2 officially, a pub and a house and now an airstrip for the cattle stations.

So, lots of great 4wd trips, detours, hikes and scenic flights to take it all in. Just amazing.

And finally:

• Flies: everywhere, in your face, on your back, even causing problems if nature calls while traveling. Any moisture from any source, even your breath through a flyscreen - a welcoming committee on waking up in the mornings. Thought: if zips had been invented earlier would we be zapping zips instead of flies?
• Spiders: some monsters. One in particular, a sandy coloured, saucer-sized thing. I put the light on in the back of the van one night, turned round and came eye to eyes with this thing which was sitting on the ceiling of the van. Do spiders have a concept of upside down? Anyway, I sidled round and opened the rear doors, got some kitchen roll and prepared my best tennis overhead smash. Never been much good at tennis, it landed on my bunk. Now at this point it ran towards me!! I think I had upset it, but I prepared my best cricket off-drive, got it on the half volley, over the (bed)covers and through the boundary doors for six (or is it eight if its a spider, I can never remember?). A swift snort of medicine was required, and I have never left my shoes outside since, although it actually must have got in with my food shopping.
• Road kill: they don't mess about here with wallabies, etc, they go for the mega point animals: cattle, camels and red kangaroos!
• One geological event theory is now that there was a pre-Gondwana global ice age, but that there was then some catastrophic climactic change "overnight" (no time gap in geo-terms), and Aus went to being a tropical ranforest with 20% carbon dioxide! And we humans think we have a problem with 0.4% and rising. Just shows how small and insignificant we are, these things have been happening forever, its only because we might actually be here to experience one that it is "a disaster".

I found it impossible to edit photos down, so I have created a highlights folder and the main one (200+ photos) at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_Outback_Highlights_2009 and http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_Outback_2009 respectively.

Cheers! Mike

Coasts, Koalas and Culture

So, I picked up Lindie, my van and home for the next 4 months in Melbourne after a short flight from Tassie and headed south west onto the famous Great Ocean Road for a sunny, spectacular, smooth sortie to kick off this epic.
Now this where things started to go wrong:

• got as far as Torquay (surfie paradise, man) and was told not to continue as the road and the Nat Parks had been closed because of bushfire threats in the extreme heat and high winds. Can't argue with that so hung around Torquay for a couple of days, at which point:
• it started to rain and blow a cold wind straight of the sea from the Antarctic, so my scenic cruise was 3 days of battling squalls, storms and cliff edges to see this famed beauty. Even the bloody koalas looked as miserable as sin (but still cuddly, aaaah! - see photos), rocks and seas were pretty impressive though
• all of this whilst trying to keep the inside of the van dry for sleeping in. No chance of cooking anything as the cooker setup assumes sunny, dry weather outdoors from the van! It was just like trying to go camping in UK, and I remembered why I don't

End of this coast road, and the sun came out, typical. Some heavy showers still but sun. Followed the road up into South Australia, nothing spectacular except some volcanic craters and limestone cave systems at Mt Gambier and Naracoorte. Rejoined the coast on the way north toward Adelaide.

Didn't realise it was Labour Day weekend, well nobody told me!

• So stopped at a place called Port Fairy, pretty little place and found a Folk Festival starting that night (Friday) - now folkie types look the same at both ends of the world I can confirm. Had to park up in a car park.
• Saturday on to Goolwa at start of Fleurieu Peninsular, pretty little place and found a Wooden Boat Festival going on - now boatie types are the same at both ends of the world I can confirm but they like better music, blues bands! A bloke called Mojo Webb who I had seen before in Pau, nothern Thailand! And there is a micro brewery in an old rail shed on the quay, good beers too, so a good night was had. Had to park up in a car park.
• Sunday, a tour of the beautiful peninsular and on to the Adelaide Hills behind the city. Very pretty place, posh suburbia - now posh suburban types are the same at both ends of the world, etc, etc.
• Every bloody city dweller had his caravan out for the weekend, if only to go 20 miles into the hills - now caravan owners, etc, etc. Had to park up in a car park.
• Monday, and I'll have the whole of Monday with Adelaide city all to myself! Except for Fringe Festival, WOMAD festival and the Adelaide Cup horse race meeting - now festival goers and racegoers, etc, etc. Monday night and the had all buggered off home, so I got into a camp site and had a shower whether I needed one or not. Luxury!

Adelaide is very compact but beautifully laid out, completely surrounded by parks, gardens and the river, so the suburbs are physically separated. Keeps the unwashed from the city bankers too, I suppose (sorry Pete).

A couple of thoughts:

• Intiative prizewinner: lighthouse keeper who scratched a small hole in the blacked out landward side of the light in exactly the right place so he could see the beam of light from the local pub and know it was still working! My kind of man.
• Why does nobody tell you that the clocks change between states? And why do they have a quarantine on fruit, plants, etc to stop spread of insects when they can fly? I was hoping to see policemen with big butterfly nets, no one there at all, so even a fly with no passport could get across!
• Oh yes, and why the van is called Lindie: it doesnt say much but grumbles throatily on all day (through a large exhaust), except when its time for her to say "I need money, feed me, or I need a bloody drink". Now girls, I had a choice of names I could have selected under those criteria, so don't feel you're any better, just escaped this time, which is something I doubt I shall when I get back.

Enough! Am now in Northern Territory in Alice Springs but that's another story - its bloody hot and the bloody flies have reached here too, so quarantine can't be working.

Photos at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Aus_Victoria_to_Adelaide_2009

Cheers! Mike

On the edge of the world...

So, in Aus for 1 month already and covered an area about the size of a postage stamp on the map!

Melbourne for a couple of weeks with Pete, Julie, Nico and Alex (many thanks, guys, for putting me up and up with me). A great place to live it seems, the city has just about every sport, concert, show going plus all in a beautiful bay with the beach at the end of the road, can't be bad. A good atmosphere about the place too, a relaxed major city well into socialising, music, coffee (BIG time into coffee, Pete's local shopping street had about 5 coffee shops within 100 yards!) and the outdoors, with wide streets, trams and open spaces.

The suburbs are just like suburbs the world over, non-descript or being re-born by the trendies if they are unlucky. In the leafy outer-suburbs, weekdays means seeing ladies doing coffee mornings, speed-walking the dogs or the babies or both plus health / fitness shops ("spas") everywhere - odd when the rest of the shops are fish and chippies, or restaurants of some nationality or other; weekends means brunch in a cafe by the beach or lunch / people watching after a beach walk or cycling, scuba diving, snorkeling or sailing too! Can't be bad.

Managed to find a pub which specialised only in local beers too! Micro breweries are a big thing here, and producing things like Pale Ale and Dark Ales not just fizzy pop lager!! Hoorah. And with a new quote for me to add to my Facebook profile: "When I read that drinking was bad for you, I gave up reading" (Henry Youngman).
But generally the "hotels" or "taverns" are barns of places at rail stations or major road junctions which are also the local bookie, off-license, bingo hall (Keno here) and gaming arcade all rolled into one! With decor to match a seventies British Legion club. But prices are high (about same as at home).

Bad news about the bushfires raging around Victoria state though - still going 3 weeks on, millions of acres of forest gone not to mention, towns and the death toll. Victoria has about half the water reserves it had 5 years ago because of ongoing drought. Floods in Queensland and NSW at the same time, crazy. Weather went from 45C with gale force winds off the desert to 20C in 2 days! It was like standing inside an electric fan oven.

Then a flight to Tassie, as it is known locally. A 1 hour flight cheaper than a 10 hour ferry ride over the renowned stormy Bass Strait, sounds good to me even if you like sailing.
Picked up a campervan - a bloody monster! It turns out the Tassie is full of Aussies in campervans, so I got the last one on the island - a VW Crafter complete with shower, toilet and TV!! Far too high spec and too big for me (and no 4WD so no going offroad either), but a doddle to drive even on the small windy roads over here.
Tassie reminded me exactly of NZ - rural, forests, mountains, rivers and rough coastlines with small towns and cities, all with a mix 0f Victorian stone / brick public buildings with clapboard houses and churches and modern Neighbours bungalow estates. The people are really friendly and the National Parks are beautiful. Did some day hiking in the forests and mountains when the weather permitted, but got rained out of the west coast. 2 weeks in Tas was not enough, it is the size of Ireland despite looking so small on the atlas, but the weather is very changeable (and cold in the van at night, down to 5C in the mountains!).

Just a couple of other things:

• School uniforms. Amazing. Throwbacks to the fifties with pinafore dresses or pleated skirts, closed toe sandals and woolly socks (yes, for the girls) and shorts, long woolly socks and black tie-up shoes for the boys (many of whom are bigger than me). And all with colourful school blazers and ties, all it needed were caps!
• Diet: if its local its fried - everything (even fresh scallops and prawns!), if its not BBQ'd meat, and all with chips. If not then its pizza, pasta or asian. Coffee is taken with cakes, doughnuts and muffins. And chocolate shops everywhere too! Sounds like heaven for some of my readers I know, but....I noticed that Julie balances everything out with salads and fruits at home.
• Road kill: bizarre to a foreigner. Masses of it, and all of it in weird shapes. Wallabies, echidna (a giant, punk hedgehog), Tas devils, wombats, possums. Cats, dogs??? No chance. Drivers only go for the odd shaped ones here, maybe there's a points system?

Anyway, all done.

Photos at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Melbourne_and_Tasmania_2009

Cheers!

Mike

And he's off (again)....

Hi all, as you all know I have just spent a month or so acclimatising in Thailand before my geography field trip around Australia.

Whilst resting one day on the beach, pondering the meaning of life and what is left of it, I hit upon a profound philosophy and, I believe, a life changing one if adopted as I now have. Not too many of you though otherwise it would be self defeating as you shall see.

I have decided that I effectively stopped the clock when I made the decision not to seek more work, another mortgage, etc. Now if you take this a step further, by then actually doing something by traveling, I must then be turning the clock backwards! Logic. And now to apply this basic truth /logic:

1. I must have a baseline, a point of clock stopping, so that is March 1st, 2007 - day 1 of not having anything to own, do, support or bare responsibility


2. In order for this to be publicly acknowledged, I have declared this DUMB Day (Dodgy Uncle Mike's (Official) Birthday (a little poetic license as I know I was formally christened in KL).


3. Therefore, and this is the really clever bit, as I was 52 on that Day 1 in 2007, I must have been 51 in 2008 and soon be 50 in 2009! How cool is that??


4. Now, a logical extension (which surely cannot be contested) is that as long as I keep traveling / not working and generally failing "to act my age", my age will continue to fall. So, if I can string this out to 2010 I shall be 49 on March 1st AND, best of all, Taff will be 50 2 weeks later!!


5. The rest of you good people will then either be growing, VERY QUICKLY, closer to my age or going further away from it. Think of the possibilities.....
   

And now the boring stuff:
I decided to base myself in Phuket again and renew acquaintances with certain establishments and people whilst getting back into the scuba diving thing. Then to go island hopping, using the local ferries, down the west coast to the last island before the Malaysian border and back to Phuket.

The diving all along here is supposed to be world class, and last year it was, but this year weather , high winds and full moon tides have combined to stir the seas up. So visibility was poor, but the good news is that it means you don't have to sit through pictures of fish and coral! Just "Wish You Were Here?" type photos. Although I did get very close to a couple of leopard sharks, which were beautiful (and not dangerous), and I set my new record for deep diving at 42 metres!

All went pretty well, the islands get less and less developed as you get away from Phuket and Krabi and the banking systems disappear completely, which led to some interesting chats with the locals (cash only, thanks) and a couple of extra trips to the mainland to find a bank. The locals get more laid back too, the last island (Koh Lipe) is ace; just bamboo huts, beach bars, live music, candles on the beach, booze and aromatic herbal smoke with not a single policeman on the island, mmmmm nice.

One hiccup worth a painful memory: staying in a hut with no electricity on Koh Bulone, and got the squits (first time seriously in 2 years!). Hut had an asian style pan and a basin out the back. Dashed out with a headtorch on into the pitch black night, tripped down a couple of steps sending the basin crashing to the ground in pieces whilst I attempted to aim my arse in the general direction of the crouch pan! A sight I shall never forget, me crouching and looking up to see a smashed basin swinging on its water pipe by dim torchlight with water spurting everywhere and me completely unable to move! The owner was very good, and so was the Enterocalm (luckily as I was on a ferry again next morning). Not a lot of sleep that night.

And so on to Australia, where I have been in the lap of luxury at my brother's place (many thanks Pete and Julie), and am currently starting to plan atrrip to Tasmania whilst sightseein in Melbourne, more of which next time.

Photos are at http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Thailand_2009

Cheers! Mike

Southern Africa - a Retrospective

Well, firstly apologies for this being so retrospective, I'm afraid that as time goes on a distinct feeling of "manana" has overtaken me. But do I care?? And in my defence, Africa is not a place with fast (or any) internet connections outside of major cities.

Secondly, a brief synopsis of summer (such as it was) at home, Mike-style:

Sailing:

• 2 weeks falling out of /off dinghies, windsurfers and water skis in Greece. Great fun in warm water!
• 2 weekends of very different types: one a cruise around the solent in between drinking and eating; the second being two days racing in Force 6-7 winds (gusting gale force 8!), very wet, windy and hard graft. Half the fleet either didn't start or retired, so at least we finished Day 1, then won our class on Day 2 which was a bonus and cause for a few beers.
• 2 weeks crewing a yacht across the Channel to Channel Islands, France and back. 17 hours to cross on way out, dodging supertankers in Force 5-6 winds which was interesting, took 9 hours coming back on a perfect wind! Took in a French medieval festival in Dinan too, which was a real drinking event around jousting and Viking fighting contests - all really weird.

Won't bore you with the photos of boats in harbours!

Drinking:

• Baker's breakfasts
• Con Club coffee mornings
• Hop Poles happy hours
• Balcony bevvies (not many in that bloody weather)
• Evening pub promenades (had to work hard on that one!)

Definitely no photos.

Golf: getting worse, clubhouse reviews over a pint on some LVA Society days

Get on with it!

Ok, and so to Africa. An organised tour, as I am too chicken to do that on my own on public transport, over 10,000 kilometres (6,000+ miles) in 7 weeks and a complete and amazing mix:

• Of countries - South Africa, Swaziland, Namibia, Botswana, Zambia


• Of peoples - Afrikaan, Asian, but mainly African tribes, some still trying to maintain traditional lives (San and Himba Bushmen in Namibia and Botswana particularly), values and art / skills but many others now urbanised and amalgamated. Of younger generations of all colours getting together. Of smiling, laughing, waving children of any colour and status


• Of animals, birds, fish, whales and plants by the thousand in numbers and species. Of poaching and protection, dangers and safety, commercial ranching profits and fencing versus wild animal migration and life


• Of politics, wealth and poverty, corruption, lingering racism and of fighting for rights. Of immigrants from Zimbabwe and all that goes with that


• Of camping, cabins and guest houses in the cities


• Of camp fires, barbeques, cabin stoves and restaurants


• Of storms, blasting heat, fog, gale force winds and cold nights


• Of tar, dirt, sand and no roads (and punctures). Of hours of traveling and of numb bums and toilet stops . Of dust getting everywhere


• Of mountains, plains, hills and valleys (rich and poor), sand dunes, forests, deserts, water (falls, rivers and seas), beaches and coastlines


• Of vans, trucks, safari trucks, quad bikes, pushbikes, hikes, whitewater rafts (sometimes in them, sometimes out!), microlight aircraft, light aircraft, ships and shipwrecks, cable cars, taxis, dug-out canoes, river sunset (ie booze) cruise boats, kayaks


• Of swimming, drowning (nearly), cooking, washing up, pitching tents and taking the bloody things down again, flying and falling, climbing and walking, sitting in trucks. Of tent collapses and moving with me in it!


• Of friendship, drinking, eating, laughter, boredom, annoyance, patience (eg border crossings), planning (good and bad), guidance (all good guides of course)


• Of pubs, clubs, pool halls, bottle shops. Of keeping a rolling stock of beers in the cooler box, and whisky in the backpack. Of water bottles everywhere, even trying to edge the alcohol out of the precious cooler box space. Disgusting behaviour


• Of flies, mosquitoes, scorpions, spiders and other things you really didn't want to be near.


• Of good advice: "never mind the flies it's the elephants and hyenas you want to worry about" and bad advice: "Let's have a round of shooters between each beer!". The bad advice always seemed to be ignored - Springboks, Jagermeisters, Dead Donkeys, Spitting Cobras come to mind


• Of the missing prides of lions (heard but not seen) and the wished for packs of leopards (don't exist)


• Of stunning photo opportunities taken and missed. Of trying to edit them down to a manageable amount for the internet and your perusal. Sorry, might have failed there, you should see how many I've got!

What a time, what a place - I know I'm lucky to have seen and experienced it. Now time for a beer methinks!
Cheers! Mike xx
Photo links (x2) (don't ask what happened to #2):

• http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/2008_Southern_Africa_Highlights_1
• http://picasaweb.google.com/laurentmik/Southern_Africa_Highlights_3